Supernatural Romance - Does Lust really equal Love?

Once again we have a blogosphere that I feel the need to put my two cents in on: Romance, especially paranormal romance, in YA, even more especially, the idea of a "lust-mance" versus true romance.  If you'd like to read what inspired me to write this post, check out this post from In Which a Girl Reads, as well as this post (ironically) from A Romantic Enters the World.  Both are pretty scathing (but, in my opinion, justified) in their criticisms of 98% of paranormal YA romance.  I haven't seen any blogger opinions from the opposite side of the debate just yet, so if you have, let me know and leave the link in a comment, please!

And my two cents are...lust most definitely does not equal love.  I could spend paragraphs bashing Twilight for this, because I think that is absolutely the epitome of a lust-mance.  I'll try not to use Twilight for any more examples, though, because I feel that that was Stephenie Meyer's honest mistake as a new writer, and that if it's anyone's fault, it's her publisher's/editor's, and even if it's their fault, I don't feel like I'm in a position to criticize a series that's made millions and millions of dollars and gotten millions and millions of people to read, even if I feel that most of what they're reading is not necessarily what I *think* they should be reading.

I feel that lust is an entirely different emotion from love, and that if you get the two confused, you're in trouble.  But when you're a teenager, it's VERY easy to get them confused.  This is why I liked The Secret Year - an at least semi-realistic portrayal of lust vs. love, Julia vs. Syd and Kirby.  This is also why I feel that reading a supernatural romance that confuses the two as a teen, especially a younger teen, isn't good for anyone involved.  If you spend hours reading about Edward's flawless face (oops, Twilight example again, but bear with me), you start to equate that with Bella's obsessive devotion, despite Meyer's half-hearted attempts to convince everyone that Bella would have loved Edward even if he wasn't rich or gorgeous.

Something I've noticed about these lust-mances is that all of the ones I've read (besides maybe City of Bones, if that counts, which I don't think it does 100%) try to tell you that sex is sacred, it's important to love someone because of who they are inside, etc., etc.  This bothers me, because it's so clearly hypocrisy.  Think back on Dimitri in the Vampire Academy novels - did you read anything in those that indicated that Rose felt much more for Dimitri besides just lust?  Yes, Richelle Mead told us she did, but telling is very different than showing, and we can tell the difference, even if only subconsciously. 

It drives me nuts when I walk into the YA section of Target or Wal-Mart or wherever else and the only "bestselling" books they have are paranormal romance, and not even the good stuff!  The Good Stuff being writing that SHOWS, not TELLS.  In my opinion, Beautiful Creatures and Shiver fell into this category, more or less; feel free to disagree with me.

But now I'll get off my soapbox for a minute.  Unfortunately, I really, truly enjoyed Twilight the first 5 times I read it.  I also enjoyed Vampire Academy.  I don't feel I was taken in by the messages, and yeah, I felt the writing was not good, but I enjoyed them.  Which is what reading is about for most people: enjoyment, not the broadening of horizons and vocabularies or all the other things that reading can be.  So if I enjoyed these books, why am I criticizing them?

Good question.  I don't have the right to tell you what to read, obviously, and I certainly don't have the right to judge you because of what you read.  If you're out to read for enjoyment, and these are the kind of books you enjoy, go for it.  I'm glad I'm writing this post, anyway, though, because I also enjoyed The Book Thief, Jellicoe Road, Madapple, Freaky Green Eyes, and dozens of other books that I feel represented many sides of love and lust as separate emotions.  Even the love wasn't always romantic.  I feel that these books are just as readable and just as enjoyable, and that if enough readers agree with me, then perhaps we can enjoy more diversity in the YA bestsellers section.